It's been weeks since I've been able to write anything here. Though, it's not surprising, since my main complaint these days is that there is so much to do and I can't manage to get anything done. I've mentioned this before. The hardest part about parenting, for me, has been my resistance to accept the fact that I am not nearly as efficient as a used to be.
I'm not even close to accepting this fact. -- INSERT BREAK TO FEED + NAP BABY -- Okay... you guys. I began this post in 'Whine and Whinge' mode. I was going to tell you how hard my life is right now. I was going to tell you that I'm frustrated and angry and annoyed. I was going to point out how quickly I was pulled away from writing this post before I'd barely even started. I was going to confide in you and tell you how much I'm struggling. And I was hoping, through the act of writing it all down, I'd coax myself off that ledge, and reassure myself that this won't last forever. But what I needed was for my world to stop spinning. I needed to hold my baby and sway with her and sing her to sleep. This pause reminded me how much I truly love this stage of my life. Life is drastically different from what it was before. On both ends of the spectrum. And in order for me to experience this wholeheartedly, I've got to find the courage it takes to completely surrender to it. I need to be okay with feeling unreliable, and flustered, and frustrated at times, because THIS is what my life looks like right now. "Welcome to parenthood", says the obnoxious Peanut Gallery. Eye roll. Well, you're witnessing me coming to terms with the fact that parenting really is the most challenging and the most rewarding job I'll ever have. I'm laying here with a sick baby napping on my chest. She's extra clingy and won't sleep well unless she's being held. This is what it took to pull me from my "I have so much to do and not enough time to do it, blah, blah, blah" rant. At this exact moment, there is nowhere else I'd rather be. It's not about me. My baby needs me. All else can fall to the wayside. Until the next time I've had to leave a task incomplete/not done at all. And I'll get all stressed out again. And I'll cry and whine and yell. My poor husband. Maybe next time I'll know to hold my baby a whole lot sooner.
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Who am i?I'm a busy gal with lots of things on the go. I'm a new mom, I'm a business owner, I'm a Canadian living in the Pacific NorthWest. I'm a wife, I'm a creative, free-thinking, wear-my-heart-on-my-sleeve Yogini who likes to write about whatever's on my mind. I carve my own path, and strive to live my life without permission or validation from others. I'm moved to tears when I get to witness those bold enough to step out of their comfort zones, and I'll passionately stand for anyone willing to be own their unique, authentic, genuine, vibrant self. Archives
September 2017
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