I've been going through a few of my old blogs. I thought it might be fun to share some posts that I wrote... and now... I'm reconsidering! Holy moly. It's strange to read what I've written, being in a completely different place now, than I was then. I remember the anguish, the heart ache. The desire to be somewhere else. The waiting, the hoping, the longing. The sadness.
I only wrote when I was upset, which is kind of a bummer, because life wasn't all bad. In fact, it wasn't bad at all. I was just dramatic. And I didn't like being alone. I'll give you an example... This was from one of my first blog sites, circa 2008. I quote: "it's interesting how sadness attracts one cliche after another.... 'love yourself before you can love others'.... 'this too shall pass'...... 'character is what you have when you've lost all there is to lose'...... yeah, yeah...... something tells me people who are NOT alone make these statements up. and these are the same people you want to slap when all you feel like doing is moping around in your own comfortably depressing pyjamas of misery and crying til your eyes sting. i'm in a place where i've gone through enough ups & downs and have had the comfort and support of friends & family to the point where everyone now thinks i should be over it. i've drained most outlets and somehow feel embarrassed to utter anything personal. i've reached the expiration date of public acceptance for sadness. now i'm talking to cyberspace." Notice how 'cool' I was with all the lower case letters too? No capitals for me. Oh brother. I'm curious though... I wonder who I'd be if I weren't in a happy place now. I'm married (hence, not alone) and I have a new baby. I feel a sense of completeness that I've never felt before. But... if this wasn't how my life looked right now... would I STILL be wallowing in self-absorbed misery? Maybe? All I can say is that I'm VERY happy, VERY content, VERY much at ease. And I wouldn't trade it for anything. Perhaps all that agony was my due diligence to get me to where I am today? And maybe I've matured a little? I'd like to think that I've grown up. However, if/when challenge comes knocking at my door... I can't promise that I won't find myself 'moping around in [my] own comfortably depressing pyjamas of misery and [cry] til [my] eyes sting.' Let's face it. I'm probably still exactly who I used to be. And I don't foresee sharing any more tidbits of my old posts. But who knows.... the poetry is good for a laugh!!
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Who am i?I'm a busy gal with lots of things on the go. I'm a new mom, I'm a business owner, I'm a Canadian living in the Pacific NorthWest. I'm a wife, I'm a creative, free-thinking, wear-my-heart-on-my-sleeve Yogini who likes to write about whatever's on my mind. I carve my own path, and strive to live my life without permission or validation from others. I'm moved to tears when I get to witness those bold enough to step out of their comfort zones, and I'll passionately stand for anyone willing to be own their unique, authentic, genuine, vibrant self. Archives
September 2017
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