You know those times when you have a tug-of-war between your logical self and your emotional self? In this particular instance, my logical side was trying to tell myself not to take something to heart. And my emotional side so badly wanted to take it to heart. I don't really have to go into details; the details don't matter... however, recently I learned that someone had developed the wrong idea of me, even though my intentions are good. There's that saying, "walk a mile in someone else's shoes" but honestly, when can we ever do that? I understand… this person is not in my shoes. This person does not have to make the same decisions I need to make. This person doesn't have to understand why I do what I do. Which is why I know (logically) that this misunderstanding shouldn't bother me. Still, when your feelings are hurt, your feelings are hurt, and the emotional side of me desperately wanted to clear things up.
I found myself asking this question... 'When is it Emotion, and when is it Ego??' Or, are they one in the same? Usually the first thing I do when I have a query is ask Google, and wouldn't you know it... I came across this article. According to the wonderfully wise Mr Eckhart Tolle, "the Ego is not only the unobserved mind, the voice in the head which pretends to be you, but also the unobserved emotions that are the body’s reaction to what the voice in the head is saying." 1) something happened, 2) I created a story about it, and 3) it caused an emotional reaction within me. Ego is the voice that tells me the story, and anytime this happens, I have some choices; I can observe it, I can act on it, I can observe it and act on it, I can act on it without observing it, and I can simply remain unaware, observe nothing and do nothing. If you give the article a read (don't worry, it's a short one) he explains how each of us reponds to the voice of the Ego differently. Our past experiences create filters through which we observe the world. So, basically, it boils down to this: What others think of me says more about who they are, than who I am. I love this rationale, and I've kept it in my back pocket for a long time. I know it, I get it. Still, sometimes Emotion wins (or Ego... or whatever...) and sometimes we have to take a moment to feel it, and choose whether or not we act on it. If we do choose to act on it, we have the responsibility to decide how we will act. I believe this is where a delicate aspect of humanity starts to fall into place -- the awareness of how our actions impact other people. I'll be honest, for most of my life, I've reacted on impulse (on both ends of the spectrum) and it took me a long time to understand that I have a choice. And my choice will affect others. So, you're probably wondering what happened next? Well, I thought on it a few days. I let my feelings process, and I took some time to decipher what was story and what was truth. And I decided to explain myself in an email, where I could take the time to carefully say what I wanted to say. What I'm proud of is that I didn't react immediately. I took some time to let go of the anger/frustration/sadness, and came from a place of sincerity and friendship. By providing more information, I hope that I was able to clear up the misunderstanding. What's interesting is that now I'm wondering how my email will be interpreted!! OMG!! Didn't I just say that what others think about me has more to do with them, than it does about me??? So, it's time to let it go. It's time to seal up this post, put this one little incident behind me, and move forward. I'm not one to dwell on things, and frankly, I don't have time!! Sometimes my intentions are going be misunderstood. I stand for things, I live my life with integrity and love, and I'm changing the world like only I can. That's all anyone can do... right? (Ha, you like how I ended this piece by looking for validation??)
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
Who am i?I'm a busy gal with lots of things on the go. I'm a new mom, I'm a business owner, I'm a Canadian living in the Pacific NorthWest. I'm a wife, I'm a creative, free-thinking, wear-my-heart-on-my-sleeve Yogini who likes to write about whatever's on my mind. I carve my own path, and strive to live my life without permission or validation from others. I'm moved to tears when I get to witness those bold enough to step out of their comfort zones, and I'll passionately stand for anyone willing to be own their unique, authentic, genuine, vibrant self. Archives
September 2017
Categories |